It seems as if weddings are the single trickiest parcel of etiquette territory to navigate, but luckily for you, I’m here again this week with your good manners guide. I had so many questions come in pertaining to wedding gifts, I thought it would be a good idea to tackle the subject again this week. This week I discuss second wedding gift ideas, group gifts and how much you should spend. Grab a pen and start taking notes!
Ask Molly: My friend is getting married for the second time this summer. I was in her first wedding and spent a fortune between the bachelorette party, the shower, bridesmaids dress, hair, make-up and a wedding gift. What is an appropriate gift when you’ve already given a lot the first time around?
You may have heard that if the bride or groom has been married before, you don’t have to feel obligated to give them a gift. However, it is still a nice thing to do and if you’re in doubt, act on the side of generosity. This is a new start for the couple and a gift is part of the celebration that shows you are thinking of them on their special day. If they don’t have a lot of options on their registry or don’t have a registry here are some ideas.
Ask Molly: Do I have to buy a bridal shower gift and a wedding gift?
I’m going to say yes here. Proper wedding gift etiquette states you need to bring a gift to both affairs, but that doesn’t mean the two gifts have to be equal in value. In fact, when it comes to bridal shower gift vs. wedding gift, the bridal shower gift should be smaller. Also, if you get invited to the shower and don’t attend it is still a thoughtful and generous idea to still send a gift.
Ask Molly: Should I buy a gift if I can’t attend the wedding?
Etiquette expert, Emily Post has always attested to the fact that you should always send a gift if invited unless you’ve truly been out of touch for a considerable length of time. If you are not in a financial position to send a gift, send your warm wishes with a handwritten note.
Ask Molly: Should I ship a gift directly or bring it to the wedding?
The preferred method for gifting is to send it to the couple’s home, versus bringing it to the wedding. There are just so many things to keep track of the day of the wedding, that it is always appreciated if you can make it easier on the newlyweds.
Ask Molly: Is it ever appropriate to give a group gift?
Definitely! Going in on a big-ticket item with a group is an easy way to gift the couple something they’ll really love without breaking the bank. This is a great idea for members of the wedding party, who have already bough multiple shower gifts and sprung for bridesmaid dresses.
If you have an etiquette question, e-mail Molly at Molly@ThePreppyHostess.com and your question will be answered in next weeks article!