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June 24, 2019

Ask Molly: Groomsmen Etiquette

This article is for the guys! Keep friends and loved ones just that with these solutions to common groomsmen dilemmas and questions. From choosing your best man to who pays for what, today I am answering all of your questions.

Ask Molly: Can I ask my fiancé not to include one of his friends as a groomsmen?

In this case, the decision is not yours to make. Best friends are almost like family. How would you feel if your fiancé didn’t want your best friend as your maid of honor? For the sake of your marriage, try to learn to like one of his closest friends. This person has probably been a part of your groom’s life for a long time and is likely going to continue to be. If you still want to persuade your groom not to ask him to be in the wedding party, discuss with your fiancé other ways of including his friend, such as asking him to do a reading at the ceremony.

Ask Molly:How can I make sure the groomsmen don’t drink too much?

The first person to bring this concern up to is your groom. Be prepared with facts, and avoid saying something like (“he gets drunk all the time”). Once you’ve persuaded your groom that it’s wise to head off potential trouble, he should be the one to take these concerns to his friends as his issue (and not as yours).

Ask Molly:Should my wedding party be allowed a plus one?

It is especially nice with the bridal party to allow them to bring a guest to the wedding and the events surrounding the wedding. But if you cannot do this for all of your single attendants, do make sure to invite any spouses, fiancés, and live-in life partners.

Ask Molly:What events are mandatory for the bridal party to attend?

While you should invite your party to all of the extra events surrounding your wedding, the only ones they should be required to attend are those directly connected to the wedding itself: The rehearsal, and rehearsal dinner. Attendants should place a high importance on the bachelorette party and bridal shower, as well, but they are not required to attend if they are unable.

If you have a wedding etiquette question, e-mail Molly at

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