After planning multiple weddings and especially after I planned my own, there are a few rules that I’ve found apply at all weddings. It doesn’t matter if the wedding is big or small, some words of advice will always ring true.

It really does go by so fast

This is a piece of advice you have probably heard over 100 times, but it’s really true. Think about other events or parties you’ve thrown in the past. They always go by so fast, right? Your wedding day will go 10 times faster. I always recommend the day before the wedding to take a moment and take it all in. It’s such a joyous occasion, and so special. Be sure to take deep breaths throughout the weekend to pause and capture the memory. These are moments you’ll savor forever and think about for years to come.

Don’t sweat the small stuff

Believe it or not, no matter how hard you work, how much you plan or how much money you spend, some things are just out of your control (like the weather or your crazy uncle who drinks too much). Don’t let these little details take away from the big moments and the massive amounts of love and joy in the room. There is a high probability that guests won’t notice the details that didn’t go as planned, so try not to stress about it.

Be as organized as possible

It is so crucial to be organized in the weeks going into your wedding. I always recommend you have everything in place the week before so you can spend that week leading up to the big day relaxing and celebrating. If possible, assign someone to handle everything you’ll need on your wedding day. It’s always less stressful when you have someone handling things like dress steaming and getting food so you don’t have to.

Celebrate and dance!

If you’re a bride, dance. If you want a dance party then you’ve got to dance too. Whether or not you think you’re Beyonce on the dance floor doesn’t matter. If the couple isn’t cutting a rug, the guests are much less likely too. If you envision a big party then you’ve got to be willing to be the center of it all and celebrate as big as you expect your guests too. They will follow suit.

Don’t forget to eat!

Eat before the wedding when you’re getting ready and do your best to eat at the wedding. As a planner, I always try to have the venue staff bring a round of appetizers and beverages to the bride and groom during cocktail hour while they’re getting photos taken. Try to also have at least a few bites of your wedding meal. You spent hours picking it out, you deserve to enjoy it.

Last but not least, be kind. Stress can get the better of all of us. Kindess really does set the tone for the entire experience of your guests and it starts with the couple. Take a deep breath before you have a snarky comment to a family member and treat the staff members with respect. Everyone is trying their best to make sure the day is perfect.